昨天，微博上一個話題引來網(wǎng)友熱議。

“男朋友月薪5000能養(yǎng)活你嗎？”

在一個街采視頻中，一些女生的反應(yīng)是難以置信，“一個月5000怎么夠？”

相比起來，男生們比較樂觀……

不過，也有女生非常帥氣地表示，“不用他養(yǎng)。”

網(wǎng)友們的普遍意見則覺得女生不需要男生養(yǎng)……但是5000塊，談個戀愛結(jié)個婚還是壓力很大的……

還有不少人認為，這個調(diào)查的題目本身有些三觀不正，“我養(yǎng)你”也許可以當(dāng)情話說說，但如果戀愛中的一方在經(jīng)濟上完全依附于另一方，那么這樣的關(guān)系就不太健康了。

不過話說回來，近年來，關(guān)于戀愛花銷的討論越來越多，看個電影吃個飯幾百塊就出去了，還有為提升個人形象買化妝品、報健身房的，一個月幾千塊打不住……

《衛(wèi)報》也采訪過一些戀愛中的男女。談戀愛真的要花很多錢嗎？男生和女生應(yīng)該誰來付賬？不用花太多錢的戀愛怎么談？

圍繞著這些問題，一群二三十歲的年輕人談了自己的想法。

1

談戀愛要花很多錢嗎？

Is dating too expensive?

@ Emma, 22, Washington DC

艾瑪，22歲，華盛頓

Yes! It’s almost impossible to do dinner and something for less than $50. I’m dating someone who makes more money than I do, and trying to maintain anything close to a 50/50 split means spending more than I want or being the less fun one who doesn’t want to do stuff.

是的！現(xiàn)在吃頓飯、隨便做點什么就不下50美元。我的男朋友賺錢比我多，所以每次我想AA，就意味著我要花超出預(yù)算的錢，或者我就只能做那個掃興的人，為了省錢這也不想做、那也不想去。

@ Danielle, 26, Ireland

丹妮爾，26歲，愛爾蘭

It’s not so much that “dating” specifically is too expensive, but just life in general is too expensive as a struggling millennial. A bunch of random dates that probably will never go anywhere, and some which you won’t even enjoy, just seems like such a waste of money. Is that too cynical? I don’t know … I’d just rather spend my money on the things I know I need and the people I know I already enjoy spending time with.

其實不光是“談戀愛”要花錢的問題，對于過得比較艱難的千禧一代來說，生活本身就要花很多錢。隨便找些對象也不一定能長久，有些約會甚至讓人一點都不開心，真覺得浪費好多錢。這么說是不是太憤世嫉俗了？我不知道……反正我寧愿把錢花在我需要的東西上，或者玩得好的朋友身上。

@ Chase, 24, Utah

蔡斯，24歲，猶他州

Since I’m a student, something pricier like dinner or a show is only a once-per-paycheck (maybe) kind of activity. As a man, I feel this more because the local culture here still isn’t very open to women asking men out.

我是個窮學(xué)生，貴一點的活動，比如晚餐或者看演出，大概一個月有個一次就夠嗆了。作為一個男生，我對此感觸更深一些，因為這里的傳統(tǒng)是女生不太主動約會男生。

@ Stephanie, 24, Atlanta

斯蒂芬妮，24歲，亞特蘭大

No, I do not think dating has to be or is too expensive. I would be happy with a date as long as it was a time the guy and I set aside to spend time with just each other in any setting. If a guy asked me to go to the park and play frisbee and packed us lunches that would a great inexpensive date. I don’t have any expectation that we go to an upscale dinner or that he take me to go see a musical or something. I also think it is my responsiblity to offer to split the price of the date, or plan and pay for the next day if there is one.

我不認為談戀愛一定要花很多錢，也不覺得戀愛很貴。只要是和喜歡的人一起度過的時光，無論干什么我都很開心。如果男生約我去公園、玩飛盤、自帶午餐，這也會是非常棒的約會，而且一點也不貴。我不指望他帶我去高檔餐廳或看音樂劇之類的。而且，我覺得自己有責(zé)任提議AA，或者下一次請回來。

2

你覺得約會應(yīng)該誰付錢？

Who do you think should pay for a date?

@Jared, 26, Brooklyn

杰瑞德，26，布魯克林

The guy, always, unless there’s serious insistence from his date.

男生，絕對的。除非女生堅持要求付賬。

@ Dan, 28, San Diego

丹，28歲，圣迭戈

If a guy asks a girl out, he should definitely pick up the tab for the first date. He should do that for the next couple dates as well. After that splitting might be appropriate depending on the circumstances.

如果是男生約女生出來，第一次約會時，絕對是他付賬。接下來幾次約會大概也應(yīng)該如此。之后的話，根據(jù)情況，AA也許就比較合適了。

@Stephanie, 24, Atlanta

斯蒂芬妮，24歲，亞特蘭大

50/50.

AA。

@ Ana, 25, Glasgow

安娜，25歲，格拉斯哥

Whoever insists.

誰堅持要付，就誰付。

@ David, 29, Brooklyn

大衛(wèi)，29歲，布魯克林

This is tricky because different women have different expectations about who pays. That said, I always offer to cover the whole bill. It’s not about trying to impress a woman. A lot of women don’t care about money anyway. They do care, however, that a man is generous.

這個問題比較麻煩，因為不同的女性對誰付賬會有不同的期待。雖說如此，我總是會主動埋單，倒不是為了讓對方覺得我有錢。許多女生根本也不在乎錢多錢少，她們在乎的是男生是不是慷慨大方。

3

你會為付不起賬而焦慮嗎？

Do you ever worry about not being able to pay for a date?

@ David, 27, New York

大衛(wèi)，27歲，紐約

It has happened to me a few times in life, when I’m single and can’t afford to go on a date (assuming a minimum of around $20), then I’m focusing on making enough money to get up to that point. It might sound shallow, but if I’m low on cash I’m not at my most confident, and having something in wallet vastly improves my dating ability, even if we’re doing something that’s free.

我單身且沒錢約會時，焦慮過好幾次。假設(shè)約會一次至少花20美金吧，我后來就專心掙錢，達到這個標準。這聽起來有些膚淺，不過如果我口袋里沒錢，我就自信不起來。有錢的話，約會技能也飆升，就算不花錢的約會也會感覺良好得多。

@ Craig, 35, New York

克雷格，35歲，紐約

I don’t worry about being able to pay for dates. If my date picks something out of my range, I will, in an open and honest manner, say that it’s a bit pricey, and ask if may we pick an alternative. If you can’t be honest at the beginning of the relationship, it doesn’t bode well for the future. And if your date can’t handle the honesty, maybe it’s a sign that you’re not dating the right person.

我不擔(dān)心約會付不起賬單的事。如果女朋友選了一個超出預(yù)算的東西，我會坦誠地告訴她，有點貴，能不能選個其他的。如果在戀愛開始的時候你不能和對方坦誠相對，那將來也不會好過。如果你的對象受不了這種直率，那也許你找的人不對。

4

不用花太多錢的約會可以做什么？

What do you do for an inexpensive date?

@ Alex, 23, Boston

亞歷克斯，23，波士頓

My favorite cheap date is walking. My current significant other and I walk for hours during the day. We often wake up, work out and eat separately, shower, and then ponder “What do we want to do today?” To us, this means “Where do you want to walk?” We’ve traversed much of our city and see plenty along the way. No pressure to purchase, and constant and renewing sources of entertainment along the way.

我最愛的廉價約會項目是散步。我和現(xiàn)在的伴侶每天走好幾小時的路。我們每天各自起床、鍛煉、吃飯、洗澡，然后就想，“今天做什么呢？”對我們來說，這就是說，“今天去哪散步呢？”我們的足跡踏遍了這座城市的大部分地方，一路上看了很多風(fēng)景。沒有購物的壓力，路上還有源源不斷的新鮮事物讓我們感到開心。

看完這么多討論，我想說的是，約會開支方面，不一定非要分清誰多誰少，重要的是要找到一種相對平衡的模式，讓彼此都處于內(nèi)心舒適的狀態(tài)。

當(dāng)然，不管是男生還是女生都要記住，一定不要把自己的快樂和未來寄托在他人身上，要先獨立，再戀愛。

先獨立，后戀愛

為什么我建議大家要“先獨立，后戀愛”呢？

❶自己養(yǎng)活自己，真的很贊！

When it comes to personal independence, there is no satisfaction comparable to the ability to pay your own bills. Financial independence means that you control your income and expenditure and you are not answerable to anybody.

談到個人獨立問題，沒什么比自己養(yǎng)活自己更令人有成就感了。經(jīng)濟獨立意味著你自己掌管開支，不需要對任何人有交代。

❷ 獨立的人，渾身散發(fā)著自信和魅力

Independent people naturally tend to be a little more confident on handling issues affecting their lives. Being independent therefore means that you will be more likely to try out new things that you want, rather than what or how you are expected to.

獨立的人在處理影響生活的事情方面天然更有信心。獨立就意味著你更愿意去嘗試自己想做的新事物，而不是去做別人期待你做的事。

❸ 越獨立，煎熬和失望越少

Being emotionally dependent means that you can make the most of your personal decisions and go through challenging life situations without necessarily dragging other people into it. More emotional independence can also mean less suffering and disappointment, since you do not depend on others to meet you emotional needs.

情感獨立就是說你可以自己做大部分個人決定，處理有挑戰(zhàn)性的生活情況，而不用把別人也牽扯進來。精神情感方面越獨立，煎熬和失望會越少，因為你不用依靠別人來滿足自己的情感需求。

❹獨立的人，做決定都超瀟灑

Being independent makes decision making an easy task; this is because you have proven to yourself that you are the only person that will be really affected by the decisions you make.

獨立讓做決定變得簡單，因為你知道，你做的決定只會影響你自己。

❺ 成為更好的自己

Independence can help increase your self-value and self-esteem. The achievement of financial, emotional, social, career and personal independence gives you a sense of accomplishment that eventually changes how you rate yourself and how others view you.

獨立會幫你提高自我價值和自尊心。經(jīng)濟、情感、社會、事業(yè)及個人獨立會給你帶來成就感，最終會改變你對自己的評價和他人對你的看法。

The increased self-worth that comes with this independence is a great booster to your self-esteem and personal success.

而獨立帶來的個人價值提升更是增強自尊心、推動個人成功的利器。

最后，我希望小伙伴們都能成為最好的自己，遇到最美的愛情。